just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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