Porn is love you can see.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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