11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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