He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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