he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
