Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
