Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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