hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize