making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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