How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
