Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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