I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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