Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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