her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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