It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
