yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
