All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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