Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

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  (860): i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life. http://tfl.nu/14qy
  Replies (49) Good night (773) Bad night (6665)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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  (780): i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least. http://tfl.nu/btfu
  Replies (29) Good night (930) Bad night (2506)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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  (715): and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat... http://tfl.nu/4hvy
  Replies (26) Good night (2409) Bad night (3489)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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  (815): I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time. http://tfl.nu/qrqx
  Replies (7) Good night (2490) Bad night (914)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.

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  (717): Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/7fz1
  Replies (9) Good night (6270) Bad night (1054)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.

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  (480): Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT. http://tfl.nu/l2cm
  Replies (8) Good night (2088) Bad night (688)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

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  (403): also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy. http://tfl.nu/tn0z
  Replies (15) Good night (3890) Bad night (634)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager

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  (850): Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager http://tfl.nu/6wri
  Replies (15) Good night (724) Bad night (1921)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.

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  (610): fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night. http://tfl.nu/e9ib
  Replies (5) Good night (1208) Bad night (681)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

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  (404): You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car. http://tfl.nu/j1re
  Replies (3) Good night (1029) Bad night (1175)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...

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  (540): So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be... http://tfl.nu/o9g8
  Replies (9) Good night (1440) Bad night (482)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.

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  (215): I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear. http://tfl.nu/e69q
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (508)
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  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

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  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1308) Bad night (647)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!

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  (630): Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!! http://tfl.nu/dwug
  Replies (15) Good night (857) Bad night (458)
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  (530): View more from California

  im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer

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  (530): im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer http://tfl.nu/8ss5
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (341)

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