I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.