I swear she didn't look like that last week.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?