dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.