like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My vagina is officially offended.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night