Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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