we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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