So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
