cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
