There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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