Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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