You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
