Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
