I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize