so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
