I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
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just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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