and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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