yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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