I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
