I cut my penus on the lid.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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