She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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