Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
