Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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