Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
