what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
