True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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