Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize