I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.