My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?