Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
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They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once