need another drink. this is the easiest way
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you