Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.