I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him