lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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