What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
