I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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