Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
