i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize