Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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