I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
