i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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