she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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