He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I deserve this hangover.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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