My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize