What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
