You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
