Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
