Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
