Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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