...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
