i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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