it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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