I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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