Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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