I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
