Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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