He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
3 2 1 whiskey
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
