I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Too much gin, very little bucket
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
