so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
