i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Randomize
