I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize